Killer Rabbits & Chasing Sheep
** Disclaimer: Please note, these stories are based on memories, however memory distortion is a very real thing, and may well play in a part in these earlier childhood scenes.
Today, ‘Wait But Why’ (the random website I don’t know how I signed up to) had a post called ‘The Bunny Manifesto‘, which talked about “Bunnies and how they’re actually weird and upsetting, not cute and normal like you think they are”. This brought up some funny memories for me.
My ex from several years ago, could never understand why I didn’t didn’t like bunnies and was a bit scared of them. We went to visit his brother in France one year, and his brother just had 2 rabbits (makes them sound less cute) who lived in the living/dining area. No cages, they just pooped everywhere, I personally thought it was a bit odd. Anyway, we were sleeping on the pullout couch, and that’s basically where I lived for 3 days as the bunnies didn’t jump up on the couch!
I also reminded him of why I’m scared of them, but apparently that didn’t make my fear any less hilarious. When I was quite young, we used to do these house swaps with other teachers (there’s a whole scheme thing in Europe). One summer, we went to stay at a house on the Isle of Wight – cute little island off the bottom of England, where I also have a sheep chasing story in regards to my aunt, but I’ll save that for another day. Anyhow, this family had many pets for us to look after while we stayed.
One of them was dubbed the ‘Killer Rabbit’. This is my memory of it, but I believe I was 6/7/8? so my parents might end up correcting some things. It had a 6/7ft high cage (tall enough that a human could walk into it basically) and a double door set-up. That means, you walk into the first door/section and close it behind you, before then opening the second door to where the rabbit lived. You then frantically threw food at the opposite end of the cage, in the hopes to misdirect this giant being (in my head it’s the size of a small pig, but I think that’s the memory getting a wee bit skewed there). Then you attempt to fill up the main lot of food without getting mauled and run back out, through the 2 door system.
My parents had been doing this for the first few days and no mauling had occurred, so I chirped up, “Mum, I really want to feed the rabbit” or something to that effect. Now the rabbit hadn’t attacked any of us yet, but we had been warned by the owners that it could. So I merrily jump in, attempt to throw the food and fail I believe. The killer rabbit goes for my leg, huge scratches, blood everywhere, I’m screaming. Mum has to run in and save me, and she gets mauled.
I’m kidding, I think I did have some small scratches though and definitely did some crying, but it was really more the lunging of the rabbit towards me as a small child, that then brought on my fear of rabbits.
Sidenote: I grew up with Monty python, classic and brilliant british humour, and thought it would be rather hilarious (and also fairly easy costume wise) to go as ‘The Killer Rabbit’ from Monty Python’s ‘Holy Grail’. Unfortunately I can’t seem to find any photos.
Oh go on then, let’s do the sheep story as well. On a different Isle of Wight trip, my aunt had decided to join us. Now we were driving down from the Cotswolds, where I grew up in my earlier years, and either the traffic was horrendous, or we there some major accident. I may be mixing up stories, but if it’s the right one, there was an accident on the M25 (the major motorway around london) and we ended up in a complete standstill for over 2 hours – people peeing all over the place, and us very grateful that we stocked up on Audiobooks.
My Aunt, on the other hand, came from london, I’m guessing by train or bus – I don’t know my age but young minds don’t tend to ask or worry about these kinds of things. So my aunt got down and onto the ferry as a foot passenger. We, however, did not make it down with our car in time. So, obviously we then had to wait for the next ferry – I’m guessing a few hours, but felt like days to a child who has already spent about 7 hours in a vehicle.
Henceforth, my aunt decided to head to where we were staying (she may have not been able to get in, as we had the key, or the instructions? and then go for a walk in the local countryside. Whilst waiting for the ferry, we then get frantic messages/phone call/told in person later on as this is the 90s (unsure of communication devices at the tims) of being followed, and subsequently chased by a herd of sheep. The sheep on the Isle of Wight were then seen as hostile, and were kept away from as much as possible! There were also photos later on to confirm, which were absolutely brilliant.
If you do have some more spare time, I would recommend reading ‘The Bunny Mainfesto’ article at the top of the page, as the author is quite delightful in presenting facts, humour and hilarity (as well as many bunny pictures).
Otherwise, we made it through day 26, and it looks as though we will be slowly returning to a ‘normal’ way of life soon. Stay curious and kind people.
Ramblings of One Elizabeth Doubtfire 